Remember Lots wife

Over last few years I’ve been writing my memoirs; looking back over my life, reflecting, reviewing. It’s been an interesting process. I’ve marveled at the gift of memory that we have; the capacity to relive the good times, to bring to mind the mountain top experiences, the beautiful people, many now gone from this earth, who have enriched and blessed my life. It’s wonderful to look back and see what God has done in my life, to give thanks and to marvel at His goodness to me, so many blessings. There have also been hard things to remember; losses, painful times, challenges I found difficult, things I couldn’t understand at the time, experiences I regret and wish hadn’t happened, in fact, wish I couldn’t remember. I’ve learned much in the process, a kind of self-mentoring and debriefing has gone on. I’ve come to better understand God’s timing, the way His promises can be woven into our lives in ways we can only see in hindsight.

The process has also made me more aware of the amazing capacity of memory that God has given us. In fact, without our memories life as we know it would be untenable. We couldn’t build relationships or carry out our daily responsibilities. Nothing would make sense. We’ve probably all seen the look of confusion and terror in the eyes of a person who is suffering from dementia. There is not much that is more horrifying that losing one’s memory, and I pray I’ll never take this gift for granted or stop appreciating it.

There is so much in the scriptures about the importance of remembering, of exercising this wonderful gift. Jesus asked us to remember Him each time we come together with our Christian community, to think about what He has done for us and how much God loves us. The Old Testament often records the building of alters and temples in significant places during the journeys that God’s people made, making places and times to stop and remember God’s mercies, His provision for His people, His goodness. The Psalms are full of recitals of God’s history with His people, so they can give thanks, understand His ways by remembering His guidance in the past, His promises for the future, His covenant with His people.

But recently I was reminded that this beautiful gift of memory can be a two-edged sword, that there is a danger in looking back, that the past can overwhelm us and draw us away from the present and also the future, away from the journey that God calls us on to.

Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards. Soren Kiekegaard

This quote highlights the tension between the need to move forward and the need to reflect on the past to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our lives. There is an important principal here about navigating life with wisdom, appreciating the journey and the destination, armed with the lessons from the past without losing the capacity to live in the present while also being open to the possibilities of the future.

I was recently stopped by a sober warning from Jesus that set me reflecting about this danger in looking back.

Luke 17:28-33

In the days of Lot people were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building … it will be just like this on the day the Son of Man is revealed. On that day no one who is on the housetop, with possessions inside, should go down to get them. Likewise, no one in the field should go back for anything. Remember Lot’s wife! Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it and whoever loses their life will preserve it.

Verse 32 is apparently the second shortest sentence in the scriptures. “Remember Lot’s wife”. It almost seems like a contradiction in terms. A call to remember … but a warning not to look back! Such a powerful image for Jesus to use as a warning to us to be ready to move on when He calls.

Genesis 19 records the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah; cities which had become so full of evil that God decided to destroy them. He sent angels to warn one godly family that they needed to get out of Sodom, to start a new life elsewhere. “When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying,

“Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.” And while he lingered the men (angels) took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him up out and set him outside the city. So it came to pass, when they had brought them outside, he said, “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you nor stay anywhere in the plain. Escape to the mountains, lest you be destroyed.”

V 15-17

The next day God rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, destroying them completely. And then this shocking moment, verse 26; “But Lot’s wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt”.

What did Lot’s wife do that was so wrong? John Eldredge in his book, Resilient, (2022) proposes that Lots wife, even after having been warned by the angels not to look back, found her heart turning back to all she was leaving behind, perhaps feeling she was losing her life, everything she had cherished and didn’t want to let go of. Perhaps Lot’s wife wasn’t just looking back. In her heart she wanted to go back. In doing so she was immobilised, never to move on again. Such a sobering story! One writer has proposed that such people know they should have their primary residence in Zion, but they still hope to keep a summer cottage in Babylon. (N.A. Maxwell, A Wonderful Flood of Light, 1990,p47).

It seems Lot’s wife’s attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future and in God. So, the warning is, no matter how good – or how bad – our yesterdays may have been, to dwell on them longingly, to let our heart and mind get stuck there, is a great danger. I have known clients in my counselling practice who have been so overwhelmed with regret or anger or grief about the past - whether what they have done, or what has been done to them - that they cannot stop remembering and looking back. They cannot move out of the past or let it go. Such people are stuck in the past, they are frozen. It’s as if their memories have turned them into a pillar of salt!

I’m sure we’ve all listened to people who talk of ‘the good old days’, who spend a lot of time reminiscing about the past, often idealising it, as if it was better than the present or the future could ever be. Tragically, this can become such a habit that a person ignores the blessings of the present and loses hope for the future.

John Eldredge warns that in a time of moving from one stage of life to another – a career change, a new school or home, even something hoped for and planned for, - all we know is the life we are leaving behind. The adventure ahead, whether forced or chosen, is still strange and unknown and so we may cling to the past, hold on to what was, and find ourselves unable to look ahead with hope and trust. This can be a vulnerable time as we re-establish ourselves, our routine, our new relationships and challenges. The transition may reveal that our security, our hope for the future is not as firmly established in Christ as we might think.

Remembering is precious and positive. Learning from the past and celebrating what has been and all that God has done, being grateful for the experiences we’ve had, for the loved ones who will always have a special place in our hearts, is a wonderful and beautiful part of our human journey. But there’s a warning here about the dangers of getting lost in the memory of who we once were, in the great times we once had, the sweet nostalgia of earlier times, of holding onto our losses, longing for the past and forgetting that God wants to lead us forward in our lives, to new hope, new growth, new blessings.

There is a beautiful balance of remembering and moving on in Isaiah 43, where God reminds His people of all that He has done for them in the past to redeem and save them, and then continues:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” V18-19

I will always be thankful for my memories, for all that God has blessed me with and all that I’ve learned. When I begin to dwell on the past in an unhealthy way, I pray I will remember Lot’s wife.