I remember a friend once saying to me that he was scared to take time to hear from God because he was afraid of what He might actually ask him to do. Over the past few years, I acknowledge I have been afraid to spend time with God for fear of what I might say to Him, such had been my head space. Someone else recently responded quite strongly to me when I spoke about beginning to run a retreat centre, saying it sounded very unattractive to him being out in nature and slowing down. There are so many excuses as to why we just feel we can’t do it. And apparently this is a common feeling. I read recently that ¾ of people in an experiment would rather choose to be electric shocked than to spend 15 minutes in quiet and silence with themselves, let alone God.

So, imagine the challenge when I read Henri Nouwen’s quote:
“Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life…We do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside time to be with God and listen to Him.”
In this fast-paced world of ministry, family and social life, solitude, time to slow down, time to renew refresh and restore is sought and sold in so many other ways. Being truly still and quiet is not our first choice.
As someone who has experienced disappointment, discouragement and confusion, even anger at God, I am heartened by the story of Elijah.
After serving and giving so much in ministry for God, Elijah came crashing down and ran away from everything. He prayed under a broom tree, “I have had enough, Lord…take my life” (1 Kings 19:4). I love his brutal honesty. He found himself in a cave, away from everyone and when he was confronted by God himself, he was honest enough to speak his true feelings and tell God, “I have been zealous for you and now what?” (1 Kings 19:10).
As you know God was not in the earthquake and powerful wind or the fire. He is not always in the hecticness, the energy of doing, doing, doing, the big concerts, the loud noises, the major holy spirit rolling, fire conventions or sermons, the reels or the latest TikTok. No, God whispered with a gentle voice when it was all calm and quiet and still.
And even when Elijah was truly angry and disappointed, when God met him, He simply asked, “What are you doing here?” or “How are you doing now?”. God was gentle and compassionate and cared for Elijah in the quiet space.
For a long time, I filled my days with positive, godly, fully busy distractions in order to not have the time to actually tell God how angry I was, how sad I was, how much I didn’t understand, how being a good and faithful servant wasn’t a sure-fire way to hold onto the things that mattered most to me. Ministry can be such a cover for hiding behind and when it is stripped away, it might surprise us what is or isn’t left?
I am re-learning that it is safe to simply be with God, the silence doesn’t have to be a scary place, and all I had to do was to be brave enough to stop and take time out and simply be present to Him. Whether we fear what He will say or how we will react to Him or even the fear of silence itself, you can trust that God’s intentions towards us are deeply good. There is no catch and no limit to the goodness of His intentions and His deep desire to simply be with us.

I can’t believe He wants to be with me, that I am enough, no matter how I come to Him. I know, I am 57 years old, and I can’t quite believe He actually wants to be with me. I wear a ring to remind me every day that says, “I am enough”. In setting aside time with Him, He is resetting my heart, my mindset, my self-talk.
What is stopping you? Whatever fear it is, He will meet you there. Whatever excuse we have, he will meet it with grace. Whatever questions we have He will listen and understand. If we want to walk the spiritual life, then time with Him is a vital ingredient, just time X time is what He is asking from you. The invitation is there, will you accept?
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